Happy Family
by kura co-co
Summary: Light and L are married and have 2 kids together; Mello and Near. But They seem to be loosing their eldest son and their marriage. What will they do? LightxL, OCxMello, MattxMello, NearxHisToys. Warnings: Yaoi, Bad language and a hint of angst.
1. Chapter 1

W00t, okay so L is the Mum (and is married to Light), Light is the Dad, Mello is their eldest son and Near is their youngest. (:  
Enjoy and review! :D

Warnings: Yaoi! Bad language!  
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXEPT THE CRACKNESS IN THIS FIC!

AGES:  
Light: 29

L: 28

Matt: 16

Mello: 15/16

Near: 14

* * *

Light and his wife stood in Mello's head master's office for the second time in a fortnight. Their eldest son; Mello, had yet again caused trouble and now is in deep shit.

'He probably beat some poor kid up again for mistaking his gender.' Light thought to himself whilst nodding his head, mentally agreeing with his conclusion.

They stood in the middle of the room in silence, waiting for the head to finally speak to them. He was just standing there… staring at a wall. How rude!

Light had had enough of the silent treatment they were being given and cleared his throat to make their presence known to him once more.

The head noticed that the brunette was annoyed with him so he let out a long sigh and began to speak. "I'm sorry for you to come all this way, Mr and… Mrs Yagami."

"Not a problem, Mr Mogi. Now what is it my son has done to cause such a fuss?" L asked in his emotionless voice.

"Well… I think he can tell you that himself." Mr Mogi stated and put his finger on the intercom button and spoke into it; asking a member of staff to inform Mello to go into his office.

After a few more seconds of silence the door slowly began to creek open and an innocent looking Mello peered out.

"Mello, please come in." The head said. Mello did as he was told and slowly walked into the office.

"So, Mello. Care to explain to your parents why you are in trouble _this _time?"

Mello said nothing and looked at the floor.

"Mello, you best tell us what is going on." His father stated.

Mello snickered at the way he was behaving. Why is he acting like a sissy prissy little girly girl? He is the almighty Mello! Afraid of nothing! Not even death itself!

He looked up to meet his father's eyes and said "Okay, you asked for it… But I think it would be best if Mom wasn't here."

His mother blinked at his son. "Why do you say that Mello? Don't you trust me?"

Mello looked at his ebony haired mother, "Of course I do. It's just that… well fine. Whatever. You can stay if you want." His gaze turned back the floor. "No, Mello. If you don't want me here I'll leave you to tell your father. But remember, he will tell me afterwards." And with that said, L walked out. Leaving him to confess to his dad.

"Well? I'm waiting." Light said in irritation.

"Fine, fine…" Mello trailed off to meet his dad's eyes once more. He had to see the look on his father's face once he confessed.

"The head teacher here saw me getting fucked into the wall." He grinned.

All the colour in Light's face drained. His eyes were as big as dinner plates. And Mello was sure that his dad's jaw was nearly touching the ground.

"**W—what**?" He asked in the most venomous voice he had ever used with his son.

"I said, the head caught me getting screwed into a wall." Mello repeated.

"WHAT!?" Light screeched at the top of his lungs. Mello flinched at the volume of his father's voice. 'Wow… and I thought mom had a big voice' he thought.

And think of the devil. His mother came running into the office with a worried look on his face. "What's going on in here?"

Mr Mogi cleared his throat to begin to speak on what had just happened, but Light stopped him. "We are going home. _Now." _He grabbed Mello by the arm and dragged him out the office. "Thank you for informing us, Mr Mogi. I shall see to it that Mello is _severely_ punished." And on that note, he also grabbed his wife and dragged him to the car.

* * *

_IN THE YAGAMI HOUSEHOLD… _

_

* * *

_

"L honey, please go fetch Near from junior high. I need to have a little chat with our son. Alone." He spoke as he glared at the blonde. Mello noticed his father's icy glare and glared back, sticking his tongue out at him after and looked away.

"Okay Light-kun…" L quietly said and pecked his partner's lips and walked out the house.

Light waited a few minutes to make sure his wife was gone. When he decided L was gone, he spoke in a deadly tone. "Mello, what the _hell _do you think you're doing!? You're only 15 for God's sake! And in a school!? Is there anything else you want to tell me!? You're a prostitute? You take drugs? You hit your mother behind my back!?"

Mello stared at his father, slightly scared. "Dad, what the fuck are you talking about?"

"Don't use such language in my presence!" Light yelled. "Now, who fucked you? Hmm? Tell me now, Mello! I'll cut the bastard's dick off so he won't be able to do it again!" He roared.

"Dad, no! You don't understand! That 'bastard' is my boyfriend!"

Light stared at his son in total shock once more. "Mello, why don't you tell me things anymore?"

"… What the hell…?"

* * *

Review, review, review! :D


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all who reviewed!!! 8DD Here's another chappie to for fill your needs :'D

Warnings: Bad language, sexual themes, spoilers, OOC, yaoi, mentions of Mpreg yadayadayada...

* * *

"Dad..." Mello spoke in a concerned tone of voice, "I think you're getting stressed."

Light pinched the rib of his nose in irritation. Of course he was fucking stressed! He's a police officer by day and a babysitting father of two by when he gets home. And to top that off, if Light wanted sex L would say, "There's no point if we're not planning of having another child. I do not believe in meaningless sex." So then Light has to beg and beg and persuade and blackmail and then beg some more just to get a simple blow job! And that took 3 hours of his precious rest time! So yes he is _very_ stressed! Especially now that he's found out his son is a whore. What if he gets pregnant! Then he shall get kicked out! But then Light will feel bad after 3 minutes and get bored without the blonde whore around. God damn it...

After that huge rant Light had with himself in his head, he gently spoke, "Mello... Just go to your room. When your mother gets back he will know of what you have done. Then we shall discuss your punishment. Understood?"

"Yes,_ sir_..." With the sharp tone of sarcasm with the last word, he walked silently up to his room. To be honest, Mello didn't see what the problem was. He used a condom... He was quite... But nooo, the principle decided to have a piss! Stupid principle and his mouse bladder... Oh well, it was _totally _worth it...

After Mello slammed the door shut, he walked over to the end of his bedroom and opened the window. 'Hmm... This shall be my escape root for today I think,' He thought to himself. As he layed out his plan in his head a few times, he carefully put one leg out of the window, then the other. After he was dangling out and was only holding on to the ledge, he jumped swiftly onto the garage roof. Slowly and carefully, he walked over to the edge and quickly hopped off. 'Mission: Half Complete.' He grinned.

Hoping not to be seen, he glided along the garden and jumped over the wooden fence that kept him from the neighbour's house. After throwing some rocks at the hated neighbour known as Mikami that stalked his father daily and kept calling him God, he ran out his back gate. 'Mission: Complete' He mewed to himself.

_**

* * *

WITH LIGHT AND L

* * *

**_

"He was doing _what_ with _whom _and _WHERE_!?" L's angry voice yelled through the house, causing near to jump and knock down his tower of leggo bricks.

"N-now, now honey... I've already sent him to his room. He's thinking about what he's do--" Light said as he tried to calm his frustrated candy loving wife down.

"--Thinking about what he's done!? Light-kun, you know kids NEVER do that! I'm going straight up there and give him a piece of my mind!" And with that L stormed upstairs to Mello's room. As Light was getting some tea cups ready for some nice hot relaxing tea, he heard his lover cry out shock. With Light's protective nature kicking in, he ran up to see if his beloved was okay.

"L!? Honey!? Are you okay!?" Light yelled to the raven haired man as he ran up the stairwell. As he was on the last few steps, L came running out of Mello's room in panic.

"He's gone! He's gone! Mello's gone!" He yelled in hysterics.

"W-what? But, how...?" Light asked as he embraced his lover to try and calm him down.

"The window... It was wide open, and... Oh God Light-kun, what if he goes to his so called 'boyfriend's' house?"

Light was too distracted to try and comfort L to answer. He just rubbed L's back in small circles and put his head in the crook of his neck. When he heard L's breathing pattern get back to normal, he let his wife go and stared straight into his onyx eyes.

"Mother? Father? What is wrong?" Their youngest asked.

"N-nothing, sweetie. Everything is fine." L smiled. "Why don't go watch Transformers on T.V while your father and I discuss an important matter..."

"It's Mello, isn't it?" The albino asked. "I saw him climb out his window and go in Mr. Mikami's yard 10 minutes ago. I assume he used Mr. Mikami's back gate to get out."

The two parents looked at Near in shock. "Why didn't you tell us you saw him running away!?" His father yelled.

"You didn't ask." He stated. "But I suppose I can help you look for him after that little fluke."

"Good. And after we've found him, we're moving far _far _away!" Light yelled.

Near blinked. "What...?"

"Honey..."

* * *

Review, review, review! :D And btw, Mello's 'Boyfriend' is the random OC. Just so you know c: Matt will be coming in later chapters. And sorry it's kinda short... But I need to get some sleep xD


	3. Chapter 3

Mello walked casually to his school of where he had just got suspended from for the day. It's not like he _wanted _to go back. It's just that his boyfriend was still there, getting suspended like himself anytime now.

When he arrived he leaned on the cold bars that were at the front of the school. Seriously, this was more like a prison than a school. Tall metal bars with barbed wire at the tips to stop children from escaping and fucking bossy 'I'm better than you' hall monitors that practically _live_ in the hellhole. Just the other day a teacher's pet hall monitor was demanding Mello to show his pass to him. That in the end got him a kick to the stomach and a black eye. 'Serves the bugger right', Mello thought with a grin.

As Mello was waiting and thinking about the hall monitor he beat up, he pulled out an emergency chocolate bar from his pocket and started to devour it, savouring the yummy taste.

"Yo, Mells! You're gonna' be diabetic when you reach 18!" Laughed out a voice that came from behind him. Turning, Mello saw his boyfriend and the principle walking to the entrance gates.

"Mello, what are you doing back here?" Growled out Principle Mogi.

"To pick his sorry ass up," Mello said as he pointed to his grinning boyfriend. Principle Mogi glared at the two before un-locking the gate and setting the sexually active teen free.

"See you next week, Principle Mogi!" He laughed out before grabbing Mello's slender wrist and running off.

"You two hoodlums stay outta trouble!" Mogi shot back.

"Yeah, yeah!" Mello's boyfriend replied, still tugging on the Blonde's wrist.

Mello's boyfriend kept running with him in hold, making sure not to loose the blonde beauty. "Ouch! Reese! That's starting to hurt, fucker! Let go!" Screeched Mello as he tried to wriggle free out of Reese's grasp. Reese looked at the gorgeous blonde and smirked. God, he just wanted to do him over and over again.

"What?" Mello growled. Reese's smirk only grew. Oh he had such evil, evil plans for his dear Mello-Yellow-Marshmallow. Mello rolled his eyes and let the youth practically tug his arm off. To be honest, he liked being dominated by Reese. His appearance and personality screamed 'I'm badass. Mess with me and you're gonna' fucking die' for he had black raven hair and sharp green eyes that anyone would die for. He also had his left eye brow pierced twice and his bottom lip pierced with a silver hoop. Mello just loved to tug at it when they kissed, but not hard enough to rip it off. If he did that Reese would pound his ass. Literally. Reese also loved to wear his favourite Slipknot shirt and torn baggy jeans. He was such a sex God.

"Mells! Hey! Pay attention to me while I try and seduce you!"

"Huh? Wha?" Mello blinked a few times before coming back to reality. He was in a dark alley way pinned up by Reese to a dirty wall and had Reese's knee in between his slender legs.

"What the fuck? When did this happen?" Mello thought out loud as he looked down to the knee in between his legs. Reese chuckled at Mello and kissed his neck. He found Mello so cute when he was daydreaming. Hell, Mello was always cute to him, in some weird way. Blue eyes fluttered closed as Reese's lips connected with his pale skin. Knowing this, Reese started to suck on the tender area of Mello's neck, earning a soft moan from his gorgeous blonde.

"Reese…" Mello moaned, "Don't leave any… any marks, dammit."

Reese gave a low chuckle and parted with his boyfriend's neck. "And why not? It's not like your parents don't know what you get up to, my little sex slave…" He trailed of to nibble on the blonde's ear lobes.

"Mm…" Mello couldn't form the words to argue with the sexy rocker. He just wanted to be fucked into the wall and if he didn't let Reese do want he wanted, that probably wouldn't happen.

As Reese started to take the kissing a little further, and slowly moved his hand up Mello's shirt, a person cleared their throat at the end of the alley way. Reese let out a low growl, warning the person to back off and let him dominate his blonde. But the figure still stood there. Watching them.

Reese had had enough with the pervert watching them so he spoke, "What's your God damn problem? Can't you see we're busy? Now be a good pervert and bugger off."

The figure silently moved towards the two teens and stopped just out of arms reach. "I do no think that mother and father would appreciate what you are doing, Mello."

Mello's eyes flashed open as he recognised the voice. "Oh for fuck sake, Near. What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"What? D'you know this kid, Mello?" Reese asked in a slightly 'I'm so pissed off' tone of voice.

Mello groaned and covered his eyes with his hand, too embarrassed to look at either of the two. "Unfortunately. He's my stupid little brother."

Reese glared at the albino for disrupting their little session. "And why are you here, kid? Can't you see we're about to make babies?"

"I was informed to find Mello and bring him home. And yes, I can see that and I do find it rather concerning. Mello is too young to get pregnant and to take care of a child and I find you're no more ready than he is. And in an alley way, too? That is also disgusting. People might see you."

After Near finished his little rant, he pulled out a cell phone from his back pocket of his white jeans. "Now, if Mello refuses to come home with me, I shall inform father and he will come pick the both of us up. And I highly doubt you'll want that."

Mello groaned in disproval, before gently pushing Reese of off him by his shoulders. "Sorry, babe. Maybe some other time when my family aren't being douche bags."

Reese was fuming. Damn that albino! Fucking, damn him to heck! "…Fine." He growled. Mello gave him a peck on the lips before leaving him in the alley.

"Call me!" Yelled the blonde. Reese smirked finally before giving the sexy blonde a wolf whistle, reassuring him that he would call later. Plus, the wolf whistle was their little thing. Like that's how they sometimes greeted each other or how they'd say goodbye. After watching the two siblings leave, he walked away in the other direction. Oh yes, he would defiantly call later.

--

"Why the fuck did you tell them I left?" Mello asked the sickly looking child known as his younger brother as they walked along the path that leads to their home.

"Because they asked." He replied. Twirling a strand of his hair with a pale finger.

"So if I ask you to go jump off Mount Everest. You'll do it?" The blonde asked, hopeful.

"Do not be silly, Mello. I also told them because they are my parents and they are concerned about you as am I."

"Ha! There's a laugh. They're so caught up with their own damn lives that they've only just found out what kind of person I am and they can't do anything about it!" The blonde laughed.

"On the contrary, Mello. They do plan to take action."

"Oh? And what, pray tell, would that be? Give me a spanking? Lock me in my room? Make me do extra chores around the house?" Mello said, sounding quite amused. Nothing they could do would keep him from doing what he was doing. It was just too damn fun!

"You'll find out soon enough." Stated the albino, not once looking at the blonde.

"Tch. Fine." Mello answered, getting out the neglected chocolate bar he was eating before and taking a chunk from it.

As they reached their averaged sized home, they were greeted by both of their parents, waiting for them on the porch.

"Finally, Near. I was beginning to worry about you." Light said as he held is son in a praising embrace for finding Mello. "You on the other hand," He said whilst turning to the blonde, "I am not quite so happy to see."

"I'm not surprised." Mello answered back, taking another bite from the chocolate bar. Light glared at his eldest for his attitude, but pushing his anger aside for he did not want to do anything he would regret later.

"Father, mother, I need to tell you something in the house." Near said as he walked into the house and into the kitchen. The two adults followed but Mello stayed put and sat himself on the comfy chair on his porch. Still eating the chocolate bar and not bothered by what was going on. It was only a few minutes before Light came rushing out on the porch again and grabbing Mello by the arm and roughly dragging him back into the house.

"Ow! Hey, what the fuck!?" Yelled the blonde in surprise. Light ignored his son before tossing him on the couch in their living room.

"So, you didn't learn your lesson at school!?" Light yelled. Causing L and Near to come out of the kitchen to see what was happening. Near, not wanting to get involved, sat down near the doorway playing with his robo-ranger and his mother walked besides his father to back him up.

"You were about to do the deed again, huh, Mello!? In an alley way!? Have you no shame!?" Light yelled more.

"Apparently not." Mello grinned. Still finding this amusing.

"Don't give your father that, Mello." L warned.

"Oh wait, but here's the best part. 'Why are you here, kid? Can't you see we're about to make babies?' Wow, Mello. Your boyfriend is very subtle isn't he!? What's his house number? I am going to call his parents right now!"

"Dad, just calm the fuck down would ya? We didn't actually do anything." Mello said, rolling his eyes.

"No, but he was rude to your little brother! Does that not bother you!?"

"Not really."

That was it for Light. He had simply lost all control. He back handed Mello across his cheek, leaving a big red hand print. In shock, Mello stared at his father. He had never hit him that hard across the face before.

"Light-kun! I think you have taken it too far!" L yelled in protest. Light ignored his wife and glared daggers at his son.

"To stop you from seeing that boy again, and to try and improve your behaviour. We. Are. Moving." And with that Light walked out the room with his fists clenched.

"What!? Moving where!?" Mello yelled as he ran to find his father and to try and talk him out of it. He found him in the master bedroom, packing all his clothes. Oh shit. He was really serious about this.

"Never you mind, Mello." Light spat, "Now get in your room and start packing before I decide to do something I will _really_ regret."

Mello took the threat seriously this time and ran to his room and started packing. With slamming the door behind him of course.

L came up behind Light and started to rub his back soothingly to try and calm him down. Light let out a sigh and turned to face his wife. He was about to speak before L put a finger to his lips and rapped his arms around Light's neck. Taking the note to not speak, he rapped his arms around L's waist and held him tight. Breathing in L's scent, he started to calm down. He had always loved the way L smelled. Strawberries were his main smell. It always seemed to calm him right down.

A passing Near looked at his parents hugging and a sad smile formed on his lips. How he wished what Mello was doing to them.

**AHSJHDHSK!!! XD I hope this was longer ;3; And I hoped you enjoyed it :D Review if you want more o3o;; And gawd, I put some angst at the end xD;; I feel bad for making Light hit Mello xD;  
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